Thursday, April 10, 2008

Are All Women As Awful as Sarah Marshall ???

Meeting lots of hot/kinda slutty girls is super fun. I never wanted to end up like my bro who met his wife Liz freshman year of college and never got to experience the fun of sleeping with lots of women. I didn't want to be that guy.

But some of the chicks I have been meeting lately are odd to say the least. This one girl bit me. At first it was kind of cool but then it started to hurt and then I got a little afraid.

This other girl only slept with me because she’s a big Crime Scene fan (boo sarah!). I felt kind of used.

This other chick was gorgeous you know and seemed pretty cool but then was like a corpse in the sack. Literally a dead person. I thought she had died and I got really scared like “what if I’m in the middle of having sex with her and she died and now I’m having sex with a dead person does that make me a necrophiliac ?” And then I laughed and she was like “why are you laughing?” and I couldn’t tell her. But I did anyway because I was super drunk. And she didn’t care which was way worse then if she had gotten mad at me.

But the weirdest was this girl that kept saying "hi" while we did it. I asked her to stop saying "hi", and she wanted me to ball gag her. How crazy is that?

Ok, its fun to be promiscuous and all, but I miss having a girlfriend (boo sarah!)

I don’t remember meeting this girl. I hope I used protection.

I’m pretty sure this chick robbed me. I had $40 in my wallet before I met her. Now I don’t. This is quite a fun adventure though. I’m going to have a lot of fun stuff to tell the kids.